mid life crisis...maybe not just yet!

We're already in the middle of Jan, and officially if I'm gonna have a mid life cisis, now would be a good time to do it.
I recently turned 40, a big number by many's standards, but secretly I kinda like it.
The month leading up to my 40th birthday was a bit hectic. Amid an already busy December of 4 bithdays and Christmas, a month long guest that my family hosted from Tanzania whose daily prayer was for snow, (WTH! we have to shovel that stuff!), and fund raising for an extended volunteer period back in Tanzania, I ended up in the hospital, TWICE, once with a pulmonary embulus... a blood clot to the lung for us non medical folks, and shortly after, with a nasty case of hives.
WTH?!?!
This was NOT scheduled in my planner!
As I told my GP, I only had between the hours of 4-5pm to fit the pulmonary embulus into my schedule, I'm a mom I have kids to pick up and drop off, and the hives, not at all, as it happend on my birthday of all day!
Needless to say a few days in hospital HAD to be scheduled in once I got to the emergency room, I was held hostage and no amount of negotiation would have the Dr's release me.
The whole experience has left me feeling tired most days as I still have a hectic schedule to keep up, and dare I say... a little depressed.
For the 1st time in a long time I'm on conventional meds, Warfarin, a blood thinner with a recommendation of daily antihistamines to be sure the hives, (from the meds), doesn't break out again. For the hives I've taken a dose of homeopathic Ledum and Mercurius and that helped the swelling and itching to go away as a shot from the epi pen made absolutly no diference to the situation.
The kids are back to school, my guest is gone and life is starting to settle down as much as it ever does for me - a single taxi...oops ...I meant mom, of 4.
For the next few months I will continue my meds, but I'm consoled that my Dr. at least understands that as an alternative practitioner, I've also chosen to use herbals and homeopathics to help in the healing of MY body, and thankfully she is willing to work with me and adjust the medication accordingly.
Recently, my thoughts have turned back to my goals of volunteering.
I wonder when I'll be ready to get back on a plane for 19hrs, to fly half way around the world to continue volunteering.
I hope I won't dissapoint the people whom I promised I would come back to help. I hope I don't dissapoint my funder, but mostly, I hope I won't dissapoint myself.
I pray I'll be healthy enough to be up for the challenge soon and that I'll know the right time to proceed.
Of all the things I am uncertain of, there is one constant surity.
Everytime I think of my time spent volunteering in Tanzania and helping others, it brings a smile to my face and I feel the urgency to get back to Tanzania to continue.

May this year bring a sense of urgency to that one thing you can't live without doing.
Peace and Blessings.